2018 Jun 22
Weddings are usually joy filled occasions that celebrate the love and the union of two lives, and are a great excuse to pig out on good food, get a tad bit drunk, and bust a move or two. However, Sri Lankan weddings (like everything else about our wonderful country) are like no other. You can always count on something or the other to happen, ergo leaving most Lankan weddings branded in our memories for quite some time.
Now, arguably more often than not, the bride turns into bridezilla at some point as a result of the stress of making her dream wedding come true, but there are some things only us Lankan girls will have to deal with when it comes to the day we walk down the aisle.
1. The auspicious times
If you and/or your family are believers of horoscopes and nakath, you’d be looking for the most auspicious time for you to get hitched, which may end up being in the early hours of the day. This means that you will have to get started on everything super early in the morning including getting dolled up, draping your saree and leaving on time to walk down the aisle. If you aren’t a morning person, good luck!
2. Pleasing your future husband’s parents
Of course this is a challenge every bride-to-be is faced with anywhere in the world. However, we Lankan girls have quite the trial when it comes to making our in-laws happy. Why you ask? Maybe because every Amma believes that no girl could be good enough for their raththaran sudu putha (unless of course they can’t wait to nudge their ruffian of a son out of the nest). Or maybe because there is the possibility that your ability to be a good wife will be based on whether or not you can make a decent cup of tea and whip up some good rice curry. Patriarchal problems galore.
3. That feeling of collapsing under the weight of all that jewelry
Sri Lankan brides adorning a rich and elegant Kandyan saree is one of my favourite things when it comes weddings. The necklaces, earrings, bracelets, and of course the traditional nalapata which is placed on the bride’s head, all pull the look together to give you one unique and simply stunning bride. However, don’t underestimate the weight of all that gold! In addition to the jewelry, the bride also has to deal with the heaviness of the saree itself, because all that embroidered silk is weighed down with stones, beads, pearls, and sequins. Even a Muslim bride would know the plight of wearing heavy jewelry and clothing because of the gajillion bangles amongst a lot of other jewelry she has to wear, along with her saree/ lehenga/ dress which would more often than not be made with very heavy fabric. So all in all, you just might end up squeezing in a good workout on your wedding day itself doing all that heavy lifting.
4. The struggle of wearing a saree
The skill of saree draping and even surviving in a saree for an entire day may come easily to some. There are others (like me) who fear wearing a saree because the menial task of walking may become the most unsure thing you can do because you may step on the border of your saree, or because your saree may drop to your feet if you haven’t used a million safety pins, and don’t get me started about going to the loo in a saree.
5. The struggle of dancing in a saree
If you think wearing a saree is the challenging part, think again. Sure, waving your saree pota around while dancing to some classic baila looks fun, but dancing in your saree may take some getting used to. Your legs are restricted because of the saree itself, and if someone steps on your saree, as the Lankans say, sorryma thamai!
6. Dealing with a bajillion guests
Figuring out who to invite to celebrate the happiest day of your life is yet another obstacle because if you don’t invite Aunty Ramani she’ll definitely have words with you and every other person in the country at some point, and you’d rather not deal with that drama, but if you don’t invite your mom’s childhood best friend who you barely even know, Amma will never let you hear the end of it. Hence, combining all the people your parents want to invite, everyone your fiancé wants to invite, as well as your own guest list, you can expect a thumping number of people at your wedding.
I’m not sure if it is just a Lankan thing, but at every wedding reception the bride and groom go around the room speaking to every guest, get a pinch and a kiss on the cheek from the aunties, and receive everyone’s well wishes. This means you’ll have to walk around in your saree that weighs a ton, with your cheeks feeling sore at all the smiling you have to do, all the while hoping and praying that you won’t collapse.
7. Shielding your eyes from the drunk uncle dance moves
Any bride stresses about the potential hazards that can occur at their wedding and one that almost every Lankan bride has to worry about is that one uncle who drinks too much and can’t handle himself on the dance floor. Don’t get me wrong; it is super entertaining to watch him bust quite a few incomprehensible moves that finish with him spinning on the dance floor and God forbid he starts twerking! But it’s all fun and games until he either throws up on the dance floor or crashes into the buffet table in his drunken demeanor.
