2016 Oct 15
by Azraa Killru
This is the new norm for communication – online messaging platforms. E-mails and text messages are not so convenient like the apps on our smartphones. And if you use one, then it is more likely than not you belong to several group chats. WhatsApp usage is heavy in Lanka, and belonging to a group for each friends’ gang, workplace, family, study projects or plans and meetings aren’t so new anymore.
Stuff that’s cool about group chats:
- Your single message hits multiple phones at once, saves time and the risk of missing out someone from whatever you’ve got to say.
- Full on entertainment, if the group is not a professional one which you belong to for name sake or for some serious purpose. This entertainment so consuming you literally forget the real world for a while and soak in the pleasure of the virtual world created by the ‘Ping! Ping!’ of each message filling up the conversation.
- Staying in touch is so easy than those lengthy phone calls because the rest of the group gets your instant updates – what time you woke up, anything special you ate, the happenings of the day and whatnot.
- Someone is always there – yes, through the little screen and hidden within electromagnetic waves but still for all intent and purposes – no matter the time, place or other commitments. If you are bursting with something to share, you just could drop it down on the group chats and someone will respond soon – even at 2 in the morning (depends on your contacts’ sleep schedule, but hey you might just get lucky even if they are all early birds).
- Plans and discussions taking place in group chats obviously mean “all are included”. So everyone gets the chance to chip in and say how the plan fits their schedule then and there, making it easier to organise stuff. Later, nobody can play the blame game claiming that they were excluded.
- Bonding like superglue because of continuous conversations and understanding of the other person’s goodness and quirks, their thoughts and how close they stick to you. This is an ideal manner to stick to your favourite blokes around the clock.
What’s not so cool?
- OK, the basic thing a person who creates a new group has to consider is whether everyone they are adding to the group knows each other and even if they do, whether they like belonging to this specific group. But no, you might be added without any notice and suddenly you find yourself among an unknown set of contacts or with people you would rather not be on a group chat with. Personal numbers could be nicked by strangers and it’s not too hard to fathom the headache it brings.
- Spamming is a like a criminal offense in the context of group chats. 100, 200, 500 messages hitting your chat notification is a mini nightmare – either you don’t have time to read it all and you risk missing some crucial detail or you have to catch up meticulously (given that you have time). But you know that nerve wracking feel when you are trying to read the previous messages but new content is loading with the rest of them continuing their conversation. You poor soul, lagging behind, nonplussed.
- The saying, “Two should not whisper in the company of another” is thrown out the window when two people chat about something the others are not aware of. Hello? Hey, what’s going on here?
- That one person who reads all the messages but doesn’t reply. He / she gets on everyone’s nerves. EVERY SINGLE TIME. Yeah you might not be in a mood to reply or busy with other work, but hey, making it a habit is a clear form of disrespect to the others who jabber on the group because you become this group-member-turned-stalker type.
- Emotional outbursts and the subsequent abrupt “xxxx left the group” is offensive. If something about the group is not right for you, politely mention it and leave. A conversation heating up and members exiting the group just because of their short temper is not polite because it’s a group with so many others too. Not just the one who annoyed you.
- The post honeymoon period of the group is one of the most disappointing one if you’ve enjoyed the conversations. This is the time when the initial weeks or months of fun and entertainment dwindles and sometimes, dies. Replies take longer or messages are sometimes completely ignored.
So, how to enjoy the benefits of a group chat without the troubles it brings along? By adopting a few etiquettes, of course!
- Always ask someone for their permission before adding them to a new group
- If something important was discussed when some of the group members were missing and too many messages follow, wrap up with a summary so the others don’t miss out on anything major.
- If you are too busy and others too noisy on the group, don’t exit abruptly. Just put it on “mute” and turn off the notifications.
- Stop sending those forwarded or chain messages. Nobody likes them.
- If a group was created to plan something in particular or to accomplish a certain task, delete it once it is completed. Don’t remain on stale groups.
- Avoid lengthy chats between two people on topics others either are unaware of or uninterested about. That’s why private chats exist.
- Don’t barge into a discussion to divert attention towards you. If something is being discussed, wait until it’s done to start a new topic.
- Don’t remain silent for days on end and expect people to treat you the same. If you dislike being on the group, be open about it and leave. If you ignore messages for days on end, it’s either because you don’t like to be on the group or you have some major issues going on. So get ready for either cold-shouldering or to hear your friends fret about what’s wrong with you.
