2017 Aug 21
I am sure you agree that as Sri Lankans it takes a whole lot of effort and planning to make sure your parents like your partner. For those of you who are tired of the Amma-Thaththa drama, here are 5 tips to ensure that the partner-approval process goes as peacefully as possible!
1. Honestly really is the best policy
A misconception most of us have is that hiding our love lives is the safer option. However, by doing so you are just giving your parents more leverage to be mad at you. Most Sri Lankan parents do not approve of dating. But it is a whole new level of betrayal to lie to them. How dare you expect your parents to trust you in a relationship if you start it by lying to them? Be open. If they catch you in the act (which they most probably will), chances are they will never approve of the person who inspired their child to lie.
2. Forget the “Amma, she reminds me of you” card
It may seem like a good idea to compare your partner to your parents. But trust me, it will not end well. For example, there was Aravinda and Paba (not their real names). Aravinda thought it was a good idea to tell his mom, “Amma, Paba is a lot like you. Her cooking tastes like yours too”. Aravinda and Paba are no longer together. It never really is a good idea to make your parents feel like your partner may replace them. Humbly speak of his/her good qualities, but, do not make comparisons.
3. Make sure you keep the rest of your life together
We all know that Asian parents are pretty strict with studies. If you have a partner and your grades drop, even if it was because you were sick or you just have harsh lecturers, the blame will inevitably fall on your girlfriend/boyfriend. “Didn’t I tell you this would ruin your life?? Very good for you!” Sounds familiar? So study well for that test. Because if you bring home Bs and Cs, that is an F for your love life. You snooze, you lose honey..
4. Your parents inevitably become his/her parents too
The Sri Lankan culture is such that our parents like to be parents to our partner as well. So if you want to throw in an occasional “ Thaththa, Hasara wants to know what to drink for a stomach bug” or “Amma, Sonali wants to know which saree you think is best”, it just might go a long way. But please do not go overboard with this. Too much and they might just pop the question “Don’t Hasara’s parents care at all?”
5. Let time work its magic
Parents liking your boyfriend/girlfriend is a long process with several ups and downs. It is never easy for them to accept or trust someone else to take care of their raththarang patiya. So do not rush things. If your partner is truly good and loyal to you, your parents will definitely accept the person who makes you happy over time. After all, putting you first is what most good parents do. And it goes without saying, despite the many videos and articles portraying the weird things they do, Sri Lankan parents are as good as it gets.
