2017 Oct 31
1. Our Ammas don’t tolerate weird friends
If you’ve watched Orphan, The Roommate or House at the end of the street, you would probably agree that the creepy, clingy character is usually a psycho serial-killer in disguise. Funnily enough, regardless of the many hints in the movie, the protagonist SOMEHOW ends up being best friends/lovers with this person. But Sri Lankans won’t fall for this nonsense! Why? Because we have an awesome Amma who can identify weird friends in a second. “Putha I don’t like that Anjali girl. Stop associating with her!” But hey, the amma-radar is not 100% accurate. However, if your friend just stares randomly into space and talks to an “imaginary friend”, you probably should listen to your mother.
2. We are insanely religious
When paranormal things start happening in horror movies, most characters try to catch it on film, hide under the bed (Seriously?) or beg some sceptic person for help. However historically, the video camera is going to stop working, some monster is going to drag you out from under the bed or you’ll get locked up in a crazy ward. That’s exactly why Lankans have a different approach. When something demonic seems to be following us around, we go straight to the temple/church/kovil/mosque. When my Achchi started smelling something rotten around the house (a major sign of a malevolent spirit), she chanted for days and carried around incense sticks. In the end, it turned out to be just a dead gecko but better safe than sorry right?
3. We don’t move into creepy houses
Now if you’ve watched The Conjuring, Insidious or Supernatural, you’ll probably agree that those families who suffer from hauntings are just asking for it!! I mean why would you buy a house in the middle of nowhere consisting of an attic or basement full of creepy old stuff?? If there are no neighbours around, hello there’s probably a reason for it! We SL people are smarter. Most of us build a new house from scratch in a nice, happy neighbourhood. We hold all sort of rituals before moving into a new house for blessing purposes. Most importantly, majority of us do not have basements/attics thus, eliminating the chances of a ghost living in one.
4. We leave things alone
Every horror movie has this one idiot (or a bunch of them) who does something stupidly unnecessary. The kid from Annabelle ignored the old man’s advice and opened the door she was asked not to. If lights start to flicker, clocks stop at 3 A.M, the characters bother to investigate the situation. But Sri Lankans don’t waste time trying to be Scooby Doo and the gang. See, we were raised in a culture where our parents constantly bossed us around and demanded obedience. So when we are told not to do something, quite simply we listen. When there is a sign saying, “Danger don’t go this way”, we don’t make that “wrong turn” and get eaten by cannibals.
5. We have big families
If you think about movies like The Curse of Chucky or The Ring, there is always this one classic reason why people wind up dead. Everyone tries to have one-on-one battles. However, Lankans have accepted that there is strength in numbers. Our families are massive, consisting of Amma, Thaththa, three children, Achchi, Seeya, Nanda, Mama, seven cousins and possibly a German shepherd. Think about it! A SL family could totally take a tiny toddler size killer-doll! And unlike the silly family in conjuring, when our dog whimpers and backs away from something, we all get the hell out of there.
So rest assured, no matter how creepy Halloween can get, if you’re Sri Lankan… there’s a really good chance you’ll make it!
Happy Halloween! 😈
