2017 Nov 10
Admit it, as much as we’d all like to ctrl+alt+delete certain parts of our romantic lives, at some point or the other we’ve found ourselves embroiled in an unpleasant breakup. This is unfortunately very much a part of life, a rite-of-passage ushering in a period of reflection, lesson learning and a general sense of toughening up. This is usually the case regardless of how many breakups you’ve had.
So if there are any souls out there clean out of a break, or still not over that ex of yours, here are some things you can consider doing that may help speed up the process of moving on (i.e. stop stalking them on all social media platforms at unholy hours of the night).
Given the emerging trend of going through a 1000 different phases before you actually achieve relationship status, these can even apply to whoever you were together with, but not really together with. Go figure.
1. Take them off all your social media platforms (please!)
Some may think this is petty. It’s really not. Unfollow them on Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and just about anything else that will give you access into their lives. This way, you’re not tempted to go back and stalk them at ungodly hours of the night, or fret about new pictures they post with “good friends”.
This is especially pertinent given that this is SRI LANKA and if you reside in Colombo you know how much harder it is to completely purge yourself of your ex’s presence. Do yourself a favour and cut them out wherever you can.
Also, do you really want to be caught in that awkward situation where you’ve accidentally double tapped a picture from 120 weeks ago?
2. Put their stuff away
Queen Bey called it when she told her cheating lover to put everything he owned in the box to the left.
The LAST THING you need to do when you’re trying to move on is to be looking at old pictures, wearing their old tees or having to look at the soft toys you’ve exchanged while y’all were together. These are prone to trigger good memories bound to make you despondent and nostalgic, potentially leading to something you’ll later regret, like that dreaded post-breakup “hey” text. DON’T BE THAT PERSON.
If you think you’re mature enough to be surrounded by this stuff after you’re over the initial hurt, maybe ask a friend to hold onto them for you till then.
3. Keep it classy
While it’s totally cool for you to express yourself in this internet age or whatever, DO NOT run your ex down in public. Sure, venting among close friends and throwing darts at a life sized picture of them is healthy and all, but refrain from saying something you’ll regret, or air you dirty laundry in public.
Revenge porn or sharing anything intimate of each other in a fit of anger just makes you look like a tool. Don’t be that person.
4. Get that cliché haircut/makeover
Whether this means reactivating that dormant gym membership (or maybe even signing up for one!), go all out, in true Khloe Kardashian style. You can also try a new look you were unsure of before, or just do something fun and new and rework your image. This one reeks of Hollywood stereotypes, but this type of thing may just give you a new sense of self and confidence essential for anyone nursing a broken heart.
Of course if you think you’re amazing just the way you are (hey, Bruno), kudos. You need nothing but to regain your killer confidence!
5. Put yourself out there
This does not necessarily have to be romantic. It’s often easy to get caught up in a cycle of self-pity and wallowing following a breakup, which really only damages yourself. You don’t have to be ready or want to date just yet, just make sure you get out and do something you find enjoyable.
Hit Colombo’s overcrowded clubs if that’s your scene/do a solo trip/hang out with your friends, or anything else that makes you happy. Ain’t nobody got time to dwell on an ex.
6. Don’t look back (mostly)
Before I delve further into this, note that there is no one size fits all approach for almost anything in life, especially in the romance department. So while there may be cases where it’s a great idea to get back together, this is not the case for most relationships. You will always have a gut feeling if someone is worth getting back with or not, despite all the advice and assurance you seek from your friends/family etc. GO WITH THIS FEELING, although it is most certainly advisable to give yourself a time, a couple of months to be sure, before considering if your ex is worth getting back together again with.
Above all, just live life. Are lives are rooted in the quality of our thinking. Don’t let someone who won’t matter in five years, hijack your emotional and mental well-being. Process, learn, and move on.
