2017 Oct 10
If anyone ever referred the word frustration in the English Dictionary, you can bet they’d probably find the words “long distance relationship” as a synonym. Yet, those souls brave enough to test their relationships in the fires of distance, time difference and crappy WhatsApp signals, would undoubtedly know this to be true. While LDRs are indeed incredibly rewarding for those lucky enough to make it to the end, it can at times be highly challenging and emotionally straining.
So for those of you still in the throes of your “summer” (which is basically almost year-round in a tropical country likes ours) romances, or are just looking for ways to make it through the time it will take to be together again, here are a few ways to make the distance (somewhat) easier:
1. Communication is KEY!
This one’s a no-brainer. You’re going to be looking for ways to compensate for the distance, and communicating through all the good times, messy emotions, and the trivial fights, will only bring you closer in the absence of all those long hugs and lazy kisses.
Most importantly be open and honest with each other about what bothers you and what you expect from each other. This will spare you a significant amount of stress and unnecessary fights in the long run!
Maybe let Amma and Thaththa squeeze into those Skype calls occasionally, just so they can say hi to their sudu putha’s lovely girl!
2. Skype Dates
Whoever invented this app was clearly the real MVP. Keep things fresh by dressing up and simulating a fancy date night every now and then. Watch out for eavesdropping siblings and random members of the family barging into your room unannounced in true Lankan style! (Amma will never look at you the same if she catches you doing *cough cough* stuff)
3. Pictures and videos
These things are often taken for granted in everyday relationships, but that 3 second snapchat selfie, or that dog-filter video is something that can go a long way in a LDR. Make your significant smile like a lunatic for hours with one of these!
Or you could take a page from Aunty Seetha’s book and take pictures of every single thing happening so that your significant other has a very detailed image of your life.
4. Plan activities for when you’re together
The best escapism in these type of relationships is envisioning all the time you’ll spend when you are together again. Plan your activities and what you want to do when you’re finally together again and you’ll find the wait a little more bearable.
5. Surprise each other
This really does not have to include over the top or expensive gestures. Just little things that will put a smile on their face, which is relatively easy in a LDR because your significant other will be appreciative of anything that will remind them of you.
If you’re looking to send gifts, sites like Kapruka offer international delivery to a range of countries, as well as Amazon. Simply enter your partner’s address and add that as a filter when you search for items. Searching for local stores that accept international payments and deliver in the area your girlfriend/boyfriend resides in is also a convenient option.
You could also send them local chutneys, bottled sambols or anything they’re missing from home which has the additional benefit of curing some of that homesickness 🙂
Undoubtedly the best surprise would be a visit, so go all out if this is an option for you 😀
6. Be involved, but not too involved
Now let’s be clear, every relationship including LDR requires both people to have their own lives, pursue their own interests and have their personal space too. But having a good understanding of your partner’s life, interests, schedule etc. gives you a real sense of intimacy and involvement in their lives.
This is critical because distance often has a way of making you feel uninvolved and distant from your significant other’s day-to-day life, so pander sparingly to the Colombo aunty in you and inquire away!
7. Be empathetic
Understand that there are going to be times you won’t have every minute piece of information on what’s happening in your partner’s life. This sometimes leads to assumptions and overthinking invariably ending up in accusations and fights. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes and try to see things from their point of view.
This is especially important given that things can get frustrating very quickly; don’t let outburst of anger or annoyance disrupt the peace, especially given that you can’t meet to make up just yet!
8. Try to put a lid on the paranoia
Let’s be real, you’re probably not going to fare too well in a long distance relationship if you’re the paranoid kind.
While it is entirely natural to worry and stress about your partner’s wellbeing, try to not let that dominate your mindset and strain your relationship. Understand that time difference and busy schedules will often mean you won’t hear back immediately, and that they have their own friends/interests that don’t involve you.
At the end of the day it all comes down to the kind of person you’re with. If you think you can’t trust your partner and they’ve proven to be dodgy and unreliable, cut your losses and perhaps look for love a little closer to home!
Finally, just remember to do whatever it takes to make your relationship work, if you’re in it for the long haul. Long distance is never easy to deal with, but you can be sure that every minute is worth the struggle when you’re back together again!
