2018 Feb 6
Upon reaching your early 20s, most Sri Lankan parents somewhat defrost to the idea of allowing you to hit the clubs with your gal pals. Unfortunately, this often comes with a number of conditions, a constant need for reassurance that yes, you will be careful, and multiple calls during the night to make sure you’re okay. Hitting the town with your girls is always a rollercoaster ride, from asking for permission, to sneaking in past your curfew. Take a look below to see if you can relate!
1. Asking for permission
Western millennials will never know the agony of approaching your parents for permission for a night out. Suddenly all those household chores you’ve been neglecting are done more efficiently than the enchanted critters from Disney movies who appear out of nowhere and whip the house into shape. Let’s not also forget the popular “ask ammi if she wants tea” or “help dad upload his 10th profile picture in one week” move(s). WE GO ALL OUT.
Sadly though, our parents definitely know what’s up. So there’s nothing left to do but look bashful like Dopey from Snow White and admit we want something. Like a pocketful of money and a hall pass for a night out with our girls.
2. Leaving the house in “modest” clothing
This part is possibly just as anxiety inducing as asking for permission. The struggle of finding something cute to wear without getting on your parents “inappropriate outfit” radar is real. You’ll find that baring midriffs when wearing sprees is “traditional” and “proper”, but doing the same on a night out with your friends is “inappropriate” and “scandalous”. Oh the joys of double standards.
So clearly the only thing left to do is to carry an additional outfit in your bag, and leave the house looking like you’re hitting up Sunday mass or a tuition class, go figure.
3. Getting ready! (1000 outfit changes in under an hour)
Now that you’ve gotten to a safe zone away from the critical eyes of your parents, it’s time to whip out those crop tops and skin tight midi skirts. If you leave wearing what you planned on wearing all along, kudos. If not, welcome to finding the perfect outfit 101. The key is to not stare at yourself in the mirror too long, lest you find an imagined imperfection which will blow up into an all out, night long doubt about whether you look like a clown in your chosen outfit.
4. Hitting up pre-drinks (AKA get stared at creepily while you down shots of tequila)
Oh what fun it is to be a Sri Lankan woman on a boozy night out, at Sri Lankan pubs. There’s the leery partygoers constantly looking over at you and offering to buy you drinks, or the fear of running into relatives or anyone you wouldn’t want seeing you down yours drinks like the seasoned alcoholic you are. Or gagging and spitting half your drink out because you’re NOT a seasoned alcoholic, whatever fits. This is all of course in addition to not being able to dance properly in the fear of accidentally grinding on some creep standing close, in eager anticipation of just about everything you’re trying to avoid. Sigh.
5. Hitting up the club
It’s always delightful to hit Colombo’s 2-3 jam-packed clubs only to find everyone from either work or university in the same place. In most instances this can be fun, and even desired. But given the social cocoon that is Colombo, this all means running into people you’d rather avoid, for example that drunk ex you just can’t seem to shake. Generally however the present club scene and atmosphere is such that drunken brawls aren’t as frequent as they used to be and women can generally have a moderately safe night out.
Remain vigilant though, and travel in packs! There’s something to be learned from Hermione Granger’s solo excursion to the washroom in the Philosopher’s Stone.
6. Drunken kottu adventures
Since us Lankans don’t have the privilege of getting pizza at 3 in the morning, there’s nothing as exciting as leaving the club drunk with your girls, ravenous for a Pilawoos creamy cheese kottu at wee hours of the morning. Upon purchase, we mostly stumble home, trying not wake anyone, although in reality, we’re loud enough to wake several generations from the dead, as seen in children’s cartoon, Mulan. The key difference being she was sneaking out of her house to fight for China, while we’re just mostly concerned about not getting caught drunk or past our curfew. Phew.
Given that this is Sri Lanka, there’s also the distinct possibility your parents have selflessly (AKA I didn’t get permission to sleep over) volunteered to come pick you up from the club. If this is the case, make sure you’ve sobered enough to spot them in the distance sitting bleary-eyed in their car waiting to whisk you back home.
