2017 Aug 31
Admit it; if you’re currently unmarried or not living together with your significant other (we all know this is horrendous to do before marriage though), you probably still live with your parents. Unlike those pesky Westerners, we don’t usually leave the nest until we’re married (although many of us do tend to live with the ‘rents even after :P), or moving to another country or something along those lines; it’s just not how our culture is wired.
When you reach a certain age though, there’s obviously going to be a time where you’re going to go out with your friends, paint the town red, have the time of your lives and all that hoo-hah. Undeniably, there’s going to be booze involved. Sure, maybe you can hold your liquor, or you just might start tripping after 3 mugs of beer (yes, I know people who get drunk on 2. It’s hilarious).
But Sri Lankan parents + Sri Lankan kid coming home intoxicated = DISASTER!
Follow these tips and you just might get away with it!
1. NEVER EVER mix!!!
This one’s for the first timers: I learnt this the hard way. If you’re feeling adventurous, do something like busting a new dance move or two, but never- I REPEAT, NEVER- mix! It will never end well for you. It will hit you a lot harder than you’d expect, you’ll probably not remember anything about your previous night’s proclivities, and you will most likely end the night throwing up. Plus the hangover the next day is TERRIBLE! So you get my point, right?
2. Sober up- DUH!
Want to sober up fast? Stay hydrated (water really is your best friend folks, always and forever), eat foods that are high in carbs because they can apparently un-redden your eyes (and fatten your thighs) and tend to absorb the alcohol, and maybe suck on a wedge of lime (it really helped me!).
3. Always cover up the stench
Booze usually tends to leave a very distinctive smell and your parents are no fools. They will recognize it. So if you want to ensure that you don’t go home smelling like an intoxicated hobo, keep some perfume on hand, or better yet, a pocket-sized bottle of mouthwash in the glove compartment of your car or in your handbag, so you can wash away the stench of booze and replace it with the pleasant smell of minty fresh breath!
You can thank me later.
4. Make sure you have a safe way of getting home
I think it is quite obvious that you should never drink and drive because you could end up killing yourself, any other people in the vehicle with you, and other drivers and pedestrians on the road. No one deserves that. So either have a designated driver in your clique or have a cab ready to take you home. You could even get a chauffeur, who will safely drive you back home in the comfort of your own vehicle. Your motto when you go out should always be better safe than sorry!
5. And of course, know your limit
Another thing you should never do is assume that you can handle a lot and that you don’t get drunk. However much you’d like this to be true, it rarely ever is. So limit yourself to a few drinks and when you start to get a bit too tipsy, STOP. If you’re the only one who doesn’t drink in your group of bebaddas, then please take care of your friends; do not let them drink more when it’s quite blatantly obvious that they’re probably going to trip over their own feet later on!
Have a good time not getting caught!
