2016 Dec 31
by Yasonil Piyatissa
It is now the globally accepted truth that 2016 has been quite the rollercoaster ride. From one absurdity to another, this year has proved to have kept us all a little more disoriented and a little less sensible. Feelings of disbelief, the faltering faith in humanity, and the utter ridiculousness of this year are moments that can be perfectly described by only one simple Sinhalese phrase: Aney manda. I am willing to bet everything on the fact that the following moments definitely left you feeling severely Aney manda-like.
1. The Harambe epidemic
Harambe’s death (murder, if you will) literally took on the world. It was undoubtedly a matter of national importance in which the internet’s reaction was so absurd and yet so weirdly normal at the same time. For the world to have created such an epic uproar about this animal’s tragic death seemed to be the natural course of action where no one questioned it but everyone went along with it. It seems that centering our entire year on the death of a gorilla is pretty darn ordinary. The reaction to Harambe’s death will forever be a paradox dear to 2016: an abnormal norm. Moreover, those memes were great. Also, do not get me started on all the Harambae jokes.
2. Melania Trump’s copycat stunt
Melania Trump’s shameless plagiarism will never fail to leave me in shock, whether it be 2016 or 3016. The incoming First Lady actually copied a word to word part of Michelle Obama’s 2008 speech at the Democratic Convention. It appears that she most likely just Googled “Speech to give at a convention” and printed up the first link that popped up. I’m pretty sure I put more effort into preparing my 5th grade homework than she did with a speech that will be heard by millions and broadcasted on international television. Never in a million years did it seem possible that a single human being was capable of such ignorance – But then 2016 happened.
3. President Donald J. Trump to Make America Great Again!
Remember when we heard about Trump running for President? Remember when we had a good laugh about it? Remember when we thought it was just a big joke? I mean who is going to vote for the dude on that show ‘The Apprentice’? A majority of citizens in the United States of America, apparently. And yes, this was after he said likes to grab certain things and his wife proved to grab speeches.
4. The infamous ‘Famous’ music video
If you didn’t have anything better to worry about this year, do not fret because Kimye got you covered. OMG, the drama! Did Taylor Swift actually give consent to include her name in Kanye’s song? Is Kanye lying? Was that really Taylor on the phone? IS THAT A NAKED GEORGE BUSH IN THE VIDEO?
It was legitimately a matter of life and death for the world to get the scoop and stay up to date on every petty detail in regard to this spectacle. Why, you ask? Aney manda, boss.
5. The Mannequin Head vines
Personally, this was the greatest part of my year! Random people wearing mannequin heads under hoodies while nonsensically dancing in Supermarkets could only happen in 2016. And honestly, with all the horrible things that happened this year I am eternally grateful for the fact that I could have at least scrolled through my phone and had a good laugh while watching these mannequin heads be so hilariously YOLO. This is one Aney manda moment that has made its mark in the history of ridiculousness. Mannequin head vine, you will be cherished forever.
6. Oh, Christmas tree?
Did Sri Lanka build the tallest Christmas tree in the world? Did we spend approximately US$80,000 on it? Sure. Did it actually promote religious harmony? Not really. Did it piss everyone off? Definitely.
We aim to build the tallest Christmas tree in the world, then haphazardly finish it off due to time constraints, and finally end up having an odd rocket looking thing poking out in the middle of Colombo. Leave it to Sri Lanka to do something absolutely futile and eccentric, and then not even do that properly.
7. The Hail Mary “prayer”
Gosh, didn’t we Lankan’s pray that the Christmas tree would be the last of our unreasonable blunders for the year. However, the fundraiser called ‘Joy to the World 2016: A Festival of Music for Peace & Harmony’ seems to have had a much different prayer in store for us: A simply blessed piece written by our very own Tupac. An individual in the organizing committee had actually printed the wrong version of ‘Hail Mary’. This version was so wrong that it divinely read “Catch me Father please, cause I’m falling, in the liquor store”. Hasn’t anyone heard of double checking anything anymore? This isn’t the joke of the year, it’s the joke of the century.
8. Racism, Terrorism and Extremism.
The age old artificial problems that humanity has created for themselves.
• January – Zliten truck bombing (Libya)
• February – Multiple bombings (Syria)
• March – Metro station bombing (Belgium)
• April – Murder of Xulhaz Mannan, editor of Bangladesh’s first LGBT magazine.
• May – Real Madrid Fan Club massacre (Iraq)
• June – Orlando nightclub shooting (USA)
• July – Nice attack on Bastille day (France)
• August – A child’s suicide bombing (Turkey)
• September – Baghdad suicide bombing (Iraq)
• October – mass shooting at police cadets (Pakistan)
• November – Ohio State University attack (USA)
• December – The people of Aleppo say goodbye to not only to 2016 but also to everything they ever knew. (Syria)
It’s happening every day, every month, everywhere, and all year round. Tragic situations thriving only on turmoil and hate. The world is so focused on differences based on skin color, religion, sexual orientation etc. that they are blind to the one thing we have in common: our humanity. People are being murdered, and with each death we are deprived of peace, prosperity and happiness; all things we hope for in a new year. Want a change? Stop saying “Aney, manda” and resolve to be the change!
