2016 Jan 26
One of the most recurring topics heard over a warm cup of iguru thé or at an international forum with a Sri Lankan representative is the one of how rich and distinguished our age-old culture is. A culture so ahead of its time as it was overwhelmed with strong morals and many forms of elaborate art. Accordingly, one would think that a culture developed to such a beautiful extent thousands of years ago would only have the option of ripening even further to make the Lankan way of life more fruitful- this would be true if culture wasn’t something that was structured by an increasingly phony society. What was intended to make us more enlightened is what is being used to prison us in that small box we like to call ‘the norm’.
As a woman, who by the way you cannot disregard as an extreme feminist wacko, I ‘enjoy’ the firsthand experience of frustratingly being expected to oblige to the sexual parameters that have been set based solely on the fact that I have no penis. While we have gladly overcome issues such female employment etc. it’s the small things that happen in the average Lankan household that drives you insane. Sri Lankan sexism is not about what you can physically or mentally do but about what you’re allowed to do. Men, without any doubt, are generally better drivers because it’s a fact that has been scientifically proven that men are more left brain oriented than women, which is the part of the brain that is responsible for visual-spatial and strategic tasks. However, our culture doesn’t base its opinions about who is more capable of washing the dishes or being a good leader on scientifically proven facts such as this. Women are there to look pretty and produce and a man is incapable of cooking a meal for himself. Sexism goes both ways in Sri Lanka. A woman who has to be the leader of her own home is pitied and a man who has to wash his own plate is ridiculed. Why? Because that’s what we’re taught when the parents asks Nangi to wash Aiya’s plate every day and Aiya is being forced into a rushed marriage.
What to put in your CV (Sri Lankan style):
- Lengths of hair – Rapunzel look for women (the longer the wiser) and the stereotypical short look for men (the shorter the ‘manlier’).
- Expression of hatred towards body art – Because tattoo’s are an indication of being dumb not an innocent showcase of a person’s identity or what they’re passionate about.
- And most importantly, the ONLY jobs you should anyway be applying for is to either be a doctor, lawyer or engineer. Please generously leave the other jobs for the ignorant ones.
Furthermore, we Sri Lankans like to pretend pre-marital sex is non-existent and unheard of. I, as someone who is a part of the younger generation and knows who is doing what in this gossip centered society, can guarantee that pre-marital sex is much more than present. And this issue where a lot more than bras are being taken off at concerts is under blissful ignorance. Parents would rather convince themselves that their 18 year old child still believes the birds and the bee’s story than have the talk with them and discuss issues related to unwanted pregnancies and STD’s. My classmates were searching for the definition of sex in the dictionary when we were 10 years old. You think after 8 years we still haven’t found out, especially if we’re from the country where the word “sex” has been Googled the most? This bubble, which we call culture, grew with the elegant drawings of the topless Sigiri Lalanawo and was more open minded then compared to now where the word “breasts” makes one widen his eyes in shock and look down with disgrace. Understanding what is happening in our modern culture doesn’t have to mean that you accept it and encourage teen pregnancies but that you can deal with it in a more informed and tactful manner.
Finally, my favourite act of hypocrisy that nearly every boastful Lankan claims to practice is equality. The distrust we STILL express towards an ordinary tamil, the jealously we have for the successful thambi that’s apparently stealing our business and by simply not being a good entrepreneur and movements such as the up and coming, bumper sticker loving ‘Sinha-le’ shows otherwise. A culture which is home to more than 2500 years of Buddhism is one that feeds on prejudice. “We are so much better than the rest of the world because we don’t wear bikinis, have realistic expectations of the sexes, knows what sex means or appreciate the arts”; and we don’t even do those things properly. Prejudice leads to violence and this culture that we’re all so proud of is being murdered by narrow minded thinkers who shun even the few who rebel with good intentions against the unreasonably conventional ways. All the races were not represented in the Sri Lankan flag so it could look pretty and colourful but because ultimately we’re all Sri Lankans and we’re beautiful in our own unique ways.
It’s time to get a grip and stop living in denial. Our biggest downfall is that we’ve confused being a cultured society with being an ignorant one.
