2016 Jul 26
By Yasonil Piyatissa
Maturity comes with adulthood and/or when one has reached an adequate stage of mental and emotional development… Or at least this is the notion which has been assumed, and thus dictated, by society. The concepts of maturity, which appear to be ‘flexible’, are simply disguising its volatility in being a perception that can be applied to anyone and everyone.
- The Untimely Timing of 21 Years
The go to idea which revolves around the usual stream of thought when considering the concept of maturity in Sri Lanka is the boundary line created at the age 21 cut off point; Apparently,along with the celebration of managing to survive through two decades and one year of existence we earthlings are granted a sudden sense of enlightenmentwhich some like to call maturity. This form of enlightenment is complimented with the removal of our restriction to have a small shot at a club, in regard to the legal aspect, and an allowance for us to truly dance the jig to the tune of freedom, in regard to the social aspect. This sudden turning point, which will either be too late for some and much too early for others, is triggered by the so called maturityall 21 year olds are stereotypically supposed to be showered with. This milestone that recognizes ones attainment of a higher stage of development isthe same powerful moment we all indefinitely take for granted because aiyo, we have anyway been doing these things since day one nah men. This pivotal moment in its true form means nothing out of the ordinary to most because society may have got the moment all wrong –again.
The task of putting a quantitative cut off point to such a qualitative and in depth issue defeats its own purpose because controlling the initially innocent desires of adrenaline packed teenagers will only make their longings stronger. This is due to the well-known understanding of how we impulsively crave what we can’t have even more. While having a legal drinking age etc. has a strong logical backing it is the socialistic concepts of maturity that also base themselves on this inflexible number of 21 years that seems to lack common sense. For example, some are asked to wait until they are 21 to get a second ear piercing. (Superficially it is thought thata pierced ear is deadly for those below a certain age.)
Hence, once they have finally been overcome with a sudden tornado of freedom these specific individuals, most often than not, tend to get dragged away with the thundering wind. The yearning which had been imprisoned, like a falcon trapped in a cage, may never be caught once released. You may have seen such individuals who have faced this culturally common and restrictive dilemma either drowning in alcohol or tattooing themselves in places I didn’t even know existed. Therefore, how does it appear to be adequate if we foolishly expected someone who could handle constructive criticism at the age 14 only be treated accordingly at the age of 21? Also how is it realistic for society to consider a person who didn’t even know how to tie his own shoelaces suddenly be a mature adult just because he also turned 21?Maturity does not come with age but with experience and wisdom; to think otherwise would simply be immature.
- Independence vs. Maturity
Another commonly immature misconception of maturity itself is the confusion of being independent as being mature. Just because you can cook a meal and don’t depend on your parents to have a roof over your head that definitely does not lock in the spot for you as a mature adult. You may be able to brew a good cup of milk tea but you also could be as shallow as that teacup itself. It doesn’t matter that you earn quite a bit and actually need a petty cash account to keep a track of all the rupees if you too are as petty as can be. You can win a world prize for all your efforts but maturity won’t also come along with the award if humility was never a part of your ambitions. While you should be mature to take care of yourself successfully, being able to fend for yourself alone is insufficient to fully enjoy the contents of maturity. Two kinds of people are able to pay their own bills: one will know that this money comes from an honest day’s work as they strive with integrity while the other resorts towards daily theft. There’s a difference. It’s maturity.
- One Size Does Not Fit All
My favorite: the overgeneralization of being mature. “When the next door neighbor’s daughter, Latha, can go in the bus so can you.” Yes, the same Latha who thought you could put tomatoes in a fruit salad, because it’s also a fruit, will decide when you shall also be allowed to reach a desired level of maturity. “Akki got a phone at 18 so you’ll also have to wait until then.” Akki just put the blame on me for the vase she broke –Akki is 25 years old at the moment. Maturity is socially constructed. It’s oversimplified and thus frustrating. What you consider to be mature act is not what I’ll consider to be mature act. I myself thought that I was quite the mature adult when I was 13… Now that I think back I’m pretty sure I scribbled on my friend’s high school musical bag at that time just so my Belieber bag will be so much cuter. If society is going to dictate how each of us lives our lives based on how mature we are then it should at least have the common decency to take a minute to adapt. We humans are a complex species that cannot be expected to be a colony of blind bats conforming to the unfairly immature concepts of maturity unless it intentionally wants to lean towards a more destructive, self-absorbed and unstable world.
