2016 Aug 31
by a Valuable Contributor
By someone who wants you to be aware and, your future/current girlfriend/wife will thank one day
Sex education is out the window in our education system anyway. Most of us spend our entire span of time in school in a same sex classroom and education system. To think about, times haven’t changed as much as it’s supposed to. The whole gendered schools vision came about many many years ago and it still seems ‘normal’ even though most us would agree wholeheartedly that it isn’t. Besides not interacting with the opposite gender for most your childhood, we’re also reverberated with terrible and stupendously basic sex education. So if you’ve got questions about her period, then I don’t blame you, I’d rather blame our education system.
As a woman, one thing that could tear you the most is your boyfriend or husband being unaware to what’s happening inside your body. As much as a taboo as it already is, I think I speak for most women when I say that a little emotional and physical awareness and support would always make the situation much better.
After years of observance, I’ve curated a couple of questions I think most Sri Lankan men would have and are probably too shy or scared to ask their girlfriends/wives. Let me tell you one thing though, the explanations below are as general as could be. I don’t know your woman, only she knows herself. Sit down and have the talk with her, find out how you can support her and be there for her when she needs you. After all, isn’t that what love is about?
- Does it hurt that bad?
You’ve probably heard your girlfriends or your lady friends complain about how bad it hurts. All the cramps, the bloating, the chest/back/neck/all-over pains. Yes, it does hurt as bad as they say it does. Even if your girlfriend doesn’t say it hurts or doesn’t complain, I suggest you do check up on her because chances are that she is in a lot of pain too.
How bad does it hurt? So I’ll give you a scale, it goes from a gazillion needles pricking you from where your ovaries are and your lower abdomen and back muscles decided it’s time for WWIII to just a couple of flicks here and there.
- How bloody is it?
This widely varies from woman to woman. Social experiments have shown that women are usually under the impression that they bleed much more than they actually do, and this could be because of they estimate based on the pain and the how much blood they physically see on their pads and tampons. Even though it seems like a lot, for most it’s about 2 shot glasses basically.
Although you’ve got to be aware that if she is bleeding excessively, then you might need to consult a doctor because it can be Menorrhagia (read up on that). But since you are her partner, it’s also best to take note of the difference between period blood and other bleeding that could be problematic. Period blood, because it’s been in the uterus a while and includes other tissue cells, is generally dark and thick and may be clotted. Really bright red blood is what you should be worried about. Period blood doesn’t generally look like the bright red blood you’d see from a cut.
- The schedule
So one thing if I’ve been asked before is whether or not my period is always on time. And it’s not. Her period pattern depends and varies from person to person. Most have regular flows and regular patterns. It comes let’s say, in the second week, stays a couple of days and goes. But for others, that’s not always true. In general, it’ll probably be around for 5-7 days from start to finish.
If her period is very irregular and she misses it often, chances are that it could be a health concern and you might want to get it checked just to be in the clear. It’s a known fact that is your girlfriend does skip period often, the ones that come in afterwards usually are much much more painful.
- Does it sync up?
If you don’t know about it already, there is a saying that goes “Women who play together, menstruate together” (Not there isn’t, I made that up). But period syncing is a real theory. Although this theory does have a lot of backsplash and criticism in a nut shell, what can be concluded is the idea that regular contact and social interaction with other women can cause your periods to sync up. If you have noticed, or probably not, in your house, your moms and sisters periods would probably come around the same time. This doesn’t happen all the time, but it does happen quite often.
- PMS-ing can happen before, during or after
So you thought PMS-ing happens only before our period? HAHAHAHA no. Contrary to its abbreviation, pre-menstrual syndrome, PMS-ing can happen before, during and even after her period is over.
Her hormones are all over the place and she wouldn’t know what to do about it either. She’s usually an emotional roller-coaster, will require constant reassurance and the need to feel loved, will want to eat uncontrollably, have the weirdest cravings, want to stuff herself with as much chocolate and of course the classic, die in pain.
- Can you talk to anyone else about it?
Is it really advisable that you tell your guy friends the truth about not being able to make it for dinner because your girlfriend has her period? No. Whether it be guy friends or her best friend even, it’s best to not talk about her period with anyone else but her. If you do notice some unusual occurrences like frequency in irregular flows or excessive bleeding, then even if your gym buddy is a gyno, you should still talk to your lady about it before you talk to anyone else about it.
Also, quit referring it to as her ‘time of the month’ or ‘aunt flows visit’. Man up, it’s her period and that’s what you’re going to call it. Period.
- How bad can day one possibly be?
Day one of your period is THE WORST (yes, the caps are necessary). Again, not true of everyone, but it tends to be the day when the flow is the heaviest, the cramps are the worst, and your whole body feels like it’s going to collapse from the stress, and that’s before you’ve even dealt with the ensuing mess.
- What are pads and tampons?
Alright, this is your homework. Do a Google search on this one. Pads and Tampons are very different although they both serve the same purpose. There’s even things like menstrual cups now! Exactly, Google would explain all this way better than I ever could.
But, one thing that can be very attractive and supportive is a man’s ability to bring home his lady some pads when she asks him to. It’s unlikely that most of you would have to buy her tampons because most women don’t wear them although I don’t see how a tampon can be non-conservative. Anyway, know what brand she likes and what kind of pad she wears so that the next time, you won’t be in any trouble in case you’ve got to do some last minute grocery shopping.
- Is period sex a real thing?
Yeah. But, consent first. You can only have sex if she wants to. Some women feel very less attractive and sexy during their periods but very sexually attractive before or after. On the other, lots of women also find themselves feeling more turned on around that time of the month – a change that’s thought to be because the hormones progesterone and oestrogen spike when you’re ovulating, increasing levels of desire. So really, it’s down to you and your girl to figure out – if you’re both okay with it, having sex during a period can ease cramps and other PMS symptoms and even help the blood come out faster, so it’s not the worst idea in the world…
And yes. You can absolutely get a woman pregnant if you have sex with her on her period. Although this is very less likely.
- How can you help?
Just be there for her. Be aware and be present. Maybe all she wants is to cuddle up and have you stroke her hair and tell her that everything is going to be okay. Come on it’s only a few days, the rest of the month she spends she takes care of you and looks into your every need. This is when it’s your turn to look after her. But also take note, she doesn’t need you to take care of her, she’s done it most her life and can do it now too. Just because she doesn’t need you doesn’t mean she wouldn’t appreciate having you.
