2016 May 31
by Anuki Premachandra
I know we’re all taught to be honest and practice speaking the truth since we were little kids. But, here’s a catch. Parents, they lie. It’s a fact. An established and known fact. Bow in the Lankan community, the lies our parents tell their kids may be a tad bit different to what you hear on the West side of the world. They would craftily mix myths with facts and come up with the most intriguing, yet astonishing lies that seem very very true. These aren’t your average ‘santa really exists darling, he lives in the North Pole and green elves are his toy makers’ or ‘the tooth fairy will only visit you when you’re fast asleep’. Our lies, we’ve got a twist to them. Well lying is not encouraged, but even if you’re new to parenting and all this while tried to avoid lying to your kids as much as you, you’ll eventually understand that you’ll make little white lies that don’t hurt anyone. So here’s a roundup of the most common petty lies Sri Lankan parents tell their children in an average household.
- The tale of Baiiya
If you haven’t heard a Sri Lankan mom say this to a child in the instances where they are trying to feed the baby or put them to sleep, you’re clearly not a Sri Lankan. Now I don’t know why or where the term ‘baiiya´ is derived from but in definition, it describes a mythical creature, with character listings including black, big, furry, scary and the essential, snatches or eats you up if you don’t listen to amma. The absolute classic. I think the term baiiya is probably derived from the term baya which transalted means ‘the process of getting scared’. That description probably sums up the purpose of baiiya.
So this creature is as mythical and folk story-ish as it gets and you would have probably heard it when you refused to have your lunch or when you refused to go to sleep and watch T.V. instead. So the specific term used differs from household to household, the more posh the household gets, the more posh the term gets. But you get the picture right?
- The internet is bad
This is commonly one of the most heard in an average household. How do parents try and keep children away from the apparent evilness of the internet? They keep them as far away from computer, smartphones, tab and any device with the ability of connecting themselves to the internet.
Sometime ago, I had some very distant relatives come over, and the whole time they were there, their sons were playing games on my laptop. And then since they seemed so intrigued by a simple motorcar game, I told them that if they remembered the website, they can play it at home, but then their 13 year old told me that their dad didn’t allow a computer at home because the internet is ‘bad for them’.
The average age that most kids are allowed a ‘proper’ phone has changed from about age 15 a couple years ago and now to age 13. Okay, now you’re possibly wondering what the difference between a proper phone and the one used before is. See, the one that the child is allowed to use before is usually a Nokia gadolbaage, a phone with no access to the internet or data or anything at all and contains only the simple functions of a phone. If it allows you to only call and text, and tends to not break even if a car went on it, you’ve found yourself a gadolbaage.
This is why a Sri Lankan parent will tell you the internet is “bad”. Porn, communication, chatting, gaming, and the list goes on and on. So instead of teaching the kids what they should avoid, they decide that just telling them the internet is monstrous and can cause harm is the way to good parenting.
- That toy is not for sale
We all pester our parents for things we don’t need. I remember how as a kid, I used to annoy the life out of my parents to get me a Barbie doll every time we went past a Hallmark Store. Thankfully, the chain of stores closed down in the country, or else I would have forced my parents with bankruptcy the way I cried and pestered them for dolls.
I know I’m not the only one. And the classic reply when you can afford the toy or you think it’s a waste of money because probably, your kid already has a cupboard stacked with them or you know that they’ll use the toy for the first half an hour and then completely forget it for a lifetime, you make your “This toy is not for sale darling” move. This is one way of crushing the hopes of millions of kids in a supermarket. But then of course, there’s some of us who would demand the toy none-the-less which leads us to our next lie.
- The lady at the cashier already billed the chocolate
This is what happens when you cannot convince your kid with the “toy is not for sale” argument. Some kids, are too smart for this and they demand the toy/chocolate/rice crispies anyway. In your head, as a parent, you need to come up with a quick game plan anyway. So you decide that, once you come to the point of sale counter that you’re going to ask the lady at the counter to put the toy away without your kid seeing it. Look what you’ve done! Now the lady at the counter is tearing inside with guilt and anxiousness. No in reality, she’s not. She probably has to do this at least 4 or 5 times a day. And what’s the harm right? Chances are that your kids not even going to notice it not being in the grocery bags once you get home. Win-Win for everybody!
- I’m going to slap you for everyone to see
Another Lankan Amma favourite. If you’re mom has not threated to slap you in public, then bro, she’s been too damn nice with you. What is that one thing a mother can do that makes the entire world her oyster? Threaten to give you a thundering slap. As silly or domestic-abuse-ish it sounds, it’s not like our moms ends up slapping us anyway. Okay, who am I kidding, when you’re an uncontrollable brat and when worse comes to worse, they do. But definitely not in public. But they would threaten you that they would and so to avoid embarrassment, you would stop what you’re doing right away.
This and other actions like ‘I’m going to stop the vehicle, and put you out of the vehicle and go home’ are also applicable to the same category.
