2015 Oct 17
by Anonymous
This article is based on a true story.
Never thought that I would be writing an article about something like this but after over a year, the nostalgia of what happened makes me want to talk about this. It’s up to you as to how you decide to interpret this, and I respect your opinion.
Often in relationships, or even in the stages building up to a relationship, when unfortunate occurrences tend to occur, it is the man that has to take a good portion of the responsibility, and it has come to a state where a man’s feelings are almost irrelevant. I’m not surprised that this is the case, considering that most men treat women like their social title, or their source of pleasure. However once in a while, in this society which is filled with men who think the number of hot girl’s they’ve dated is a title of prestige, you tend to find a guy who actually loves a girl but never seems to cross the finish line. Nothing is ever spoken about this guy. No one really has any sympathy towards him because at the end of the day he ended up in the “friend-zone”. No one speaks about his side of the story. This is dedicated to that guy.
The first time he saw her, he was mesmerized by her smile. She had a smile which could take him through the toughest of times. He barely knew her, but as luck would have it, they started talking to each other. Started getting to know each other bit by bit. There was the occasional phone call, which always excited him. Hearing her voice always brought a smile to his face. They would talk about the most irrelevant things, call each other “idiot” and make each other laugh. With time he realized that he was falling for her. He didn’t know if she felt the same but then him being the optimist he is, thought his feelings would be returned.
He kept talking to her without telling her about his feelings for a few weeks, but then he decided that he cannot keep it a secret any longer. He asked her, “Hey, can I talk to you about something?” and he told her about his feelings, and how her smile seemed to show him magic. She told him that she would have to think about this and she needs time. He should’ve saved himself from the heartbreak that was to come, but then being the optimist, he remained hopeful. She was smiling when he confessed, so he was feeling ecstatic about finally telling her about his feelings. The excitement was so much that the first thing he did afterwards was going and telling his best mates about it, which was rather surprising considering that he is a rather private person who doesn’t reveal much.
He didn’t want to pressure an answer out of her, so he went with the flow of things and kept talking to her. With each message he sent and received from her, he kept falling for her. Each time he saw her, he could feel his heart burn a bit. It was not the sort of burn that you get out of fear or nervousness, but the burn you get out of excitement and happiness of seeing that special someone, the burn you could live with for the rest of your life. He was getting anxious to know if she felt the same about him, but still he kept patient and gave her time.
A few weeks into confessing to her, he was too curious, so he decided that he couldn’t wait any longer and he asked her, “Do you feel the same way towards me, as I do to you?”. His heart was beating faster and this time around the burn on his heart was because of the nervousness. She told him “I don’t know, I do have feelings for you, yet I’m confused about what to do”. At least she didn’t say no, so that was a relief. However later he would realize that if she rather said no than dragging his heart through thorns for the coming few months, it would have been so much better.
In the coming weeks, she went on to say that he has everything that she looked for in a guy and this really put a smile on his face. Knowing that the girl he has fallen for, thinks about him in such a way made him one happy lad.
Days passed by, but she never gave an assuring answer. Many people told him to give up already, but how could he; it was not that easy to give up on the girl he has fallen for. He should have taken the advice. He started hearing rumors from people that she already has feelings for someone else. Some even told him that she is actually dating someone else. He built a wall to shield himself from what others were saying. By no means was it possible that she would do something like this to him. She knows how strongly he feels about her. It was impossible that someone so kind, someone with a smile of an angel could do something like this.
A few weeks went by and he started to notice that the communication between the two of them started to really drop and if he was lucky he would manage to talk to her twice within the whole week. What was happening? He couldn’t say. Still he did not want to give up. He would make his best efforts to try and meet her and at least say “Hi” and ask her how her day was. Then one Wednesday morning, the truth hit him head on like a freight train.
She came and told him, “I need you to forget about me”. He couldn’t process these words. He thought he heard something else. He asked her to repeat it if she doesn’t mind. She told him “I need you to forget about me”. It was the same as before. He could feel a burn in his heart. This time is was due to fear and absolute confusion. He asked why. She told him “I’m confused and I don’t know”. He asked himself as to what that even means. She walked away and left him thinking. Yes she just walked away like that, surprising isn’t it? He didn’t believe this, so he went to talk to her. She was with her best friend and at the instance he asked, “Can I please talk to you?”, her best friend intervenes and says, “Leave her alone”. This was a shocker for him.
That whole day, he did not feel well. He couldn’t think straight, but being the fighter he is, he didn’t want to give up. If there was one thing he didn’t know how to do, was giving up. Each time he tried to talk about this with her, she would either avoid him, or avoid that topic. He just wanted to know why. What happened after all this time?
Within a few days, their communication became almost minimal. It was limited to the awkward “hello” and “How are you?”. Her smile was not the same as before whenever she saw him. It was different. It didn’t light up his heart anymore. However, each time she went past him, sometimes ignoring him, he would turn back and look at her go by. Call it desperation; call it whatever you want but this is not some random dude trying to get a girl to add that name to his trophy case. This guy really loved her.
With time the communication became nil, and he got to know from people close to her, that she is actually dating someone else. In fact in a few months, she herself, on one rare occasion when they were talking to each other, would tell him that she was very close with this other guy already, but she didn’t tell him because she didn’t want to “hurt you”. He got to know that this guy doesn’t treat her like the queen she is, and she has to go through so much just to hold on to him. He slowly understood that she is truly in love with this person, so little by little he starts losing hope till all hope dried out. It was only his hope which dried out, not his love for her. Chances are it will never dry out. He kept thinking how he would treat her like the queen she is no matter what. Make sure he kept that smile shining every day.
Time went on and it’s been months since he last saw her. He met a different girl towards whom he thought he had feelings, but halfway into dating this amazing person, he realized his heart was not with this girl. It was still with the girl who he last saw months back. He ended up hurting an amazing girl just because his love for that person had not dried out; only his hope had dried out.
Now it’s been so long since he saw her. They both live in different countries now, but not a single day goes where he doesn’t spend a minute thinking as to how she must be doing. He listens to You’re beautiful by James Blunt, and takes a deep sigh when it goes;
“There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it’s time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.”.
